FINISHED

2007-09-10T15:04:00.000-07:00

Please click here for my current on-line journal.
Thanks!

Still Here...(kinda, for now).

2007-08-30T15:21:00.000-07:00

...But, as you may or may not know, I am in transition, moving to Wordpress.

Check it out.

Oohh, Oooh!!! Me! Me!

2007-08-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

Well, brother Mikey tagged me with one of these meme things...so...

Here it goes..

Here are the guidelines for this MEME:

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“1. Apologize for three things that Christians have often got wrong. Your apologies should be directed towards those who don’t view themselves as part of the Christian community. Alternatively, apologize for things you personally have done wrong towards those outside of the church.
2. Post a comment at the originating post so others can keep track of the apologies.3. Tag five people to participate in the meme.

4. If desired, send an email with the link to your blog post at the Christians Confess site, giving permission for your apologies to be added to the website.”

5. If you don't mind, leave a comment here to let us know about your post!!

Thank You!!

*************************************************************************************

(Although I offer this apology predominately to those who do not know Jesus, I also offer it to those that I'm just not quite certain about as well...maybe 'former' Christians, or 'almost near' believers.)

As a representative of Jesus Christ, on behalf of myself and my entire Christian Family, I apologize for,

a) TBN (in general). Although a good friend of mine has rightly described it as being an expression of 'religious comedy'.

b) The fact that I would ever expect you to be a part of 'Christianity' while us Christians really just seem to talk a lot about everything, without ever really doing much of anything (Oh. Except for bible reading, going to 'church', and, uhhh..., I dunno..., how about driving around in our nice new cars while you are in despair and going hungry. (Oooohhhh. Does that one sting!?)

c) All of our ridiculous antics geared at trying to convince you of anything, while all along Jesus said quite simply that you would know us by our love for one another.

Okay...now a word to all.

These answers of mine are based on the rule rather than the exception. Fact is, most folks that I would consider to be closest of 'kin' fall under the category of 'exception'.

Now.

Who do I tag?

Hmmmmm.

How about...

Scott

Richard

Steve

Cheryl

Kim

On 'Church'

2007-08-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

So...

What are my issues with 'church'?

Good question.

Let me start by saying to everyone that we all are wherever we are for whatever reason we are there.

Some of us find ourselves gathered with two, five or twenty others in living rooms in the suburbs, some are in gigantic stone architectural masterpieces with stained glass window.

Some folks meet in strip malls, apartment buildings, trailer parks, warehouses, city parks, local pubs..., and the list goes on and on.

To me, location or physical building structure are not an issue.

I am no longer troubled with the pagan origins of the steepled houses, or pulpits.
The fact that the protestant order of worship has it's basic roots in the catholic mass (which actually grew out of ancient judaism and paganism) no longer troubles my soul the way it used to.

If we really wanted to abandon the "pagan" elements in our lives, we would certainly have our work cut out for us.

For one, the standard calendar would have to go.
Do you realize the implications of that?

If the Lord moved me to go that way, I think that I would at least try (with His empowerment, of course), but He is not.

Thats just the tip of the iceberg.

If you want to know more about this sort of thing, a good start would be by checking out this website.

I'm glad I did, but I'm not stuck there.

For the sake of not being at this desk for the next ten or twelve hours, I'm just going to say that my issues with 'church' in general (while maybe not with your church), are more about the fact that the Lords people are not free to express themselves during the corporate assembly.

One man speaks, while the many listen.

This way of 'doing church' cannot be found in the new testament scriptures.

One man is not supposed to have that kind of control.
Possibly even more importantly, no one man is supposed to carry that kind of burden!!!!!

No matter how sincere and well meaning he may be.

{I take that back. There is One Man...
One New Man.}

The Lord is sovereign, and He can certainly utilize this kind of activity, but I tell you the truth;
this is not the way set forth in scripture.

Now...

I don't live by the scripture, but by the leading of the Holy Spirit.
That may stumble some of you, but, one day you will see for yourselves.

The scriptures point to Christ.

This conviction about 'church as usual' has been with me as far back as I can remember...way before I ever found it in the scripture or before I read about it anywhere else.

I am not against message meetings per se.
I am not against giving one man the floor for a while, to hear him out, and allow him to express his heart and his word of the Lord, but this should not be the continous experience of the church meeting.

I do not condemn or think less of anyone for doing what they think they should be doing.
That is what we all do (I hope).

Ironically, here is a recent post from a dear sister whom I find is frequently tuned in to the same 'frequency' as myself (it's kind of spooky sometimes, but neato!).

Anyway...
I hope this brings a little more clarity as to why I am where I am.

Peace in Christ.

A Contrast in Spirits.

2007-08-21T15:33:00.000-07:00

When things get quiet around here, I can't help but wonder if I scared everybody off.
I hope not.

Either way, I must preach the Gospel.

'All that I have today' is a little nugget.
BUT WHAT A NUGGET IT IS!!!

I would just like for you to notice this one word.

"again".

In context, Paul is differentiating between the old covenant and the New:

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Now.
Who are the sons again?

Those who are what?

And what spirit have we not received?

To what?

And which Spirit have we received?

Now.
If you have no idea what any of this means....
please leave a comment letting me know....
I'd just love to help you out.

If you do know what this means, how about an amen or two.

C'mon.
Don't be afraid!!!!

On How Not to Devour One Another

2007-08-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

Well, over the last couple of weeks, I have written a little bit about the practical outworking of the inner life.

Now I would like to share a bit about something else the Lord is showing me in my personal walk with Him.

Among many, many areas of fault and weakness, the one that He is exposing most definitely to me is in the area of back biting.

You didn't think that I was above that, did you?

This is something that has always been so easy for me to see in others.
I remember a certain job that I had several years ago where the back biting was rampant.
No matter what combination of co-workers I found myself gathered with, there was always talk behind the backs of whoever wasn't present.

Isn't that horrible?

For the first year or two, I did not speak much (at all, to anyone there).
I was very quiet.
After while, I began to 'go with the flow'.
What a mistake that was.

It's not that I didn't already know how to back bite, it's just that it wasn't a common practice for me.

Before I go on here, I would like to say that I do believe that there is a place for seeking private counsel about a situation or a relationship, and I believe that there is room for speaking about things in confidence.
However, those conversations should never take the form of "secret attacks".

This reveals so much about what is going on in the heart.

It's not that our redeemed hearts are bad, it is that there is still something dark going on inside of them. Something that needs to be dealt with and kept in order.

We do not deal with that thing, but we allow our 'resident boss', as Watchman Nee has referred to Him, to deal with it.
In this process, the Spirit reveals an issue with His light, makes us aware, we acknowledge and apply the priestly work of the Lord Jesus.

His blood has covered the offense and we reckon the old man dead on the cross, thus allowing us to walk free in His victory.

I could see how some could read the last few posts that I've written and conclude that I have a perfectionists concept of the Christian life.
This is not true.

I have a perception of Jesus Christ, and I believe in who He is, what He has done, and what that means to God and Man.
That's all.

So getting back to my thought...

No, I am not at all 'walking on eggshells' before the Lord.
Instead I am learning to walk in the Spirit and to be sensitive to His leading and His work.

Jesus said that when we have been offended by someone that we should go to them first, not to someone else.
This requires courage and honesty.
The way I see it is that it requires Jesus Christ.

Lord, we have no fear when our eyes are set on you. You are our patience when we would rather take offense.
You are our peace when we would rather stage a attack, and you are our courage in the face of the enemy.
You are our wisdom when we are found to be foolish.

So be it, Lord.

Have a wonderful day!

Everything Must Change

2007-08-14T18:11:00.000-07:00

I'm just sitting here, mulling over some things that Brian McLaren wrote about in his new book, Everything Must Change.

I'm only into the second chapter, but am nonetheless stirred a bit by something that he has touched on...

The Kingdom of God.

There is so much that could be (and has been, and will be) said about this, but currently, I am looking at the fact that so many Christian people are preoccupied merely with the message of getting saved and not going to hell, that they have almost completely overlooked the message of the Kingdom of God.

Jesus preached the Kingdom more than anything else.

I just don't understand the "Christ centered escapism" mentality anymore.
Maybe it's because my life is "too good" for me to want to be such an escapist.
I dunno.

I can hear it now, "But,...'Whoever loves their own life shall lose it...' " etc, etc..
I'm not discounting that, not one bit.
I understand all of that and have been through that and even continue to see that.
However, there is a distinction between what "my own life" is and HIS LIFE which is credited to my account!

Now, I love His Life, which is in me.

It is a Life of wisdom.
It is a righteous Life.
It is a sanctified Life.
It is redemption.

Do you believe these things about yourself, dear Christian?
Scripture says it to be true.

Wanna know where?
You'll have to find it for yourself!

hint: I blogged about it recently ;-)

Since this IS true, what should that mean for us now, and for "the world" in which we find ourselves?

Admittedly, I'm not really in the reading mood lately, and quite honestly, over the last three years, I have grown tired of feeding my soul with book after book on the newest and hottest, or the oldest and truest.

I'm trying to figure out just how many books a Christian must read in order to 'get it' !!
According to what is out there, it must be a lot, and whatever 'it' is, 'it' seems to metamorphose from time to time.

No, I'm not anti-book.
Yes, I like to read, but I think I understand what C.S. Lewis had to say about books in Shadowlands;

"I read to know that I'm not alone".

Okay, I can settle with that.

So Brian, you are not alone brother, and thank God, neither am I.
I think Jesus would agree with you, Brian...
Everything must change.

Higher Ground Needs Mowing Too...

2007-08-12T18:42:00.000-07:00

Recently a dear Sister encouraged me with the following:

"... May God's Spirit take you to higher ground in Christ - to a place where computers don't exist -a place where love abounds above all else - a place of complete oneness with Christ!

And, then, please share with us what that was like!!!"

This was written shortly after I had expressed my desire (put into me by the Lord) to cut back on my "I" (Internet) time.

So, how could I ever share what "that" has been like?

Let me first use a few describing words that may capture the experience.

Suffering.
Peace.
Temptation.
Victory.
Peace.
Righteousness.
Satisfaction.

Do you get it?
I probably wouldn't if I were on the other end of this monitor.

Now let me get down to the practical outworking of what the experience has been like so far.

It was a little strange operating outside of a pattern that I had gotten so accustomed to.
I suffered the great pains of just not being able to do what I had gotten so comfortable doing.
Not exactly a crucifixion but, hey..., I am in America, right?

After denying the desire to break the rule that was set in my heart, I went about taking care of things that needed to be done.

At work, this meant fewer interruptions from doing my job(s).
I accomplished more for the company I work for, I found satisfaction in that and the day moved along quite nicely.

At home, this meant that I spent more time with my kids.
It takes time to get to know someone (anyone), and to know is to understand.
How can I be a father if I do not spend time with my children?
They need to not only be fed and sheltered, but they also need to be nourished, disciplined, and taught.
This takes both time and energy, and it requires that I BE THERE, not just in the physical, but spiritually and mentally as well.

What can I say about victory?
I overcame the temptations by His power and not mine.
How do I know it was His power and not mine?
Because "I" wanted to get online and hit the www, but it was HIM in me that caused me to will and perform the desire He put on my heart.

I just know.

We always find peace after performing the will of God.
Simple.

What could have possibly given me a sense of being righteous in all of this?
Let me give you one simple example.

My four year old little girl has a little sandbox in the backyard.
Well, the grass had grown up so high in the yard, that it became a welcome environment for all kinds of creepy crawling critters.

Also, my wife lives here too.
Even though she doesn't mention it much, she, naturally, likes a pleasant environment. She likes the way it feels when things are tended to and kept up, and it gives her the sense that she doesn't have to do it all herself when I pull my share of the load.

My getting the yard back in shape provided a safer and healthier environment for my family and myself.
The Lord "redeemed" my yard through me.

Righteous!
But not by my works, it was by faith in HIM, which worked itself out in and through me.

This really isn't all that complex, brothers and sisters...
This is just little ole' me with this frail lil' testimony of cleaning up the yard, spending a little more time with the family, finally doing things my wife first asked me to do two years ago (yeah...I didn't tell you about putting up the shelving in the closet, or fixing the "gear changing doo-daddy" on my son's bicycle...).

Now then.
Am I boasting in my works?

I think I have already stated that it was the Lord who put this desire into my heart, and I think that I already declared that "it is Him who causes us to will and to do".

I am boasting of my Lord!!!

Have I gotten my reward already?

I've already mentioned obtaining a sense of peace, victory, righteousness and satisfaction....
I'm not sure if you could call these rewards or not.
Sure seems like it to me, but I can hide these treasures deep within my heart and give praises of thanksgiving to the One from whom these eternal gifts originate.

"... May God's Spirit take you to higher ground in Christ - to a place where computers don't exist -a place where love abounds above all else - a place of complete oneness with Christ!"

I must say, to be sure, that your prayer was answered!
Thanks for the inspiration on this one, Marie.

I would love to hear of your experience as well!!!

He is worthy to be praised!!!

The Transitions in my Life.

2007-08-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

I recently started up my fourth blog.

The first one, "Holy Mendicant", was my first year of journaling, my first experience with a "blog".

I still do not like that term for some reason.
"Blog"
It just sounds... I dunno...

I actually deleted that one.

The second one was "Johnny's Quest" also here on Blogger.

I really need to get around to archiving this journal.

Uhhhh...
Oh, and there is this one, "FINISHED" which I think I will keep online for a while.

Every time I title a blog, I always try to make it relevant to "where I am" in Life.
As I look back at the sequence of my titles, I see changes.

Holy Mendicant
This was during a time in my life when I approached the Lord as a desperate man.
A poor beggar.
I had come to see clearly, my darkness.
This was the beginning and He began to show me His Light.
Through Jesus Christ, this poor beggar was made holy.
Not by my deeds or by my power, but by the saving grace of God's mercy.
Jesus Christ.

I was beginning to really believe the truth during this period of my life.

Johnny's Quest was during a time when I was searching for Christ on one hand while searching for answers to some questions I've had in my mind for some time on the other.
This was a period of exploration and marvel and a definite time of highs and lows.

God's mercy is incredible.
His Love is perfect.

In Finished, I think I am seeing clearly, that to be finished with religion must never equal being finished with Christ Jesus, nor His people.
As of late I have explored conversations with saints of varying backgrounds and who also practice different expressions of their faith, some within the "Institutional Church" and some not.
This blog was started when I decided to cut ties with mans religion.

I have come to realize that it is one thing for a man to remove himself from the religious institutions, but it is an altogether different matter to remove the religious institutions from a man.

It is the latter which is far more important than the former.

I have my convictions about many things, but I must have the grace from the Lord to not condemn anyone for what they do.

I would hope that you would not want to do that to me.

It is EASY to condemn others.
It is not hard to do (even mistakenly).

It is one thing to offend, but it is another thing to condemn.
Think about it.

You can be hurt without actually feeling guilty about it (can't you??).
You might get angry but you do not have to "sin".

BELIEVE ME. I CAN POINT OUT YOUR SIN'S ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, AND THEN I COULD CALL MYSELF A 'PROPHET' AND FEEL RIGHTEOUS ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO LIFE AS A BELIEVER.

IF WE SPENT HALF AS MUCH TIME WITH OUR MIND ON THE LORD AND HIS THINGS, AS WE DO WITH OUR MINDS ON THE DEVIL, THE "WORLD", THE FAULTS OF OTHERS, AND OUR OWN FAULTS, WE WOULD BE AN ALTOGETHER TRANSFORMED PEOPLE.

You can point out an error without burdening the person.

"But they need to be burdened, because Jesus was burdened, and we've got to follow..."
I don't argue that, however, I do not believe that it is our job to burden others.
At the same time, we must be free enough from pride to expose our weaknesses to those we trust.

On the flip-side, we must also love one another enough to point out the pepper in one another's teeth.

It is more harmful to just let it go and make someone feel foolish, than to quietly suggest that they have a little speck between the front two.

(I KNOW the "speck and plank" thing, and AMEN!
But there is a difference.
Jesus used the contrast in size; LITTLE speck vs. BIG plank, for a reason...)

It is our NATURE, as the Lords people, to bear one another's burdens.

We all walk in the light we have.That is about all any of us can do, really.
Except for praying for more light...

Phoenix Rising is the newest addition to my personal blog-o-rama.
From what I can tell so far, this one is more about the resurrection Life, but I hope to just be able to express that Life in a very natural way...not just talk about that Life.

Many brothers and sisters are too "humble" to speak of Christ as being their active and working resurrection life.
I prefer to not only boldly come to the throne of grace, but to also boldly sit, walk, and stand in that grace,....because it is not my power, but His.

I think I want to narrow down to just one blog though, rather than trying to maintain three or four.
Phoenix Rising will be my primary spot, but I will continue to post here for a little while longer as well.

The Lord is good, saints.
Let's stop beating ourselves up in hopes of it making us more "holy".
May we receive what the Lord God has to offer us and, in return, not out of debt, but out of DESIRE, may we turn our entire lives over to Him and Him alone.

Jesus Is Lord.

Nuggets From the Other Side of the Pendulm

2007-08-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

"...All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any."

Hmmm.

"...Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart (....), doeth well."

HMMMMMMMM.........

I love this portion of Pauls letter to the church at Corinth:

2007-08-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

"...For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.
But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God--and righteousness and sanctification and redemption-- that,

as it is written, "He who glories, let him glory in the Lord."

Roger Miller ' Where Have All The Average People Gone?'

2007-07-31T13:29:00.001-07:00

(Sighhhh...)

My Take on It

2007-07-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

After hearing the voices of the saints, and comparing them with my own heart and spirit, I would like to offer my perspective.

"The problem" with the church today (and always), is two sided.

On the one hand, the problem is that people fail to meet the standards of other people (and even themselves).
Not to mention, people also fail to meet the standards of the book.

On the flip side of this, if we DID NOT fail to meet those standards, how would we ever come to know the grace of our Lord Jesus?

In the words of Derek Webb (again), "Nothing unifies like a common enemy..."
Oh my, how true are these words!

We must ask ourselves, "What is it that draws us together?"

I propose that we not become unified around the things which we see as detrimental.
May I suggest that we not gather around a common enemy, regardless if that enemy be the flesh, sin, the devil, religion, the system, men or a man.
Instead, may we find the grace to be gathered around a common Friend.
Perhaps if we unify around our common Friend, He will take care of our enemies, our faults, our fears, and our religion.

By asking the question, "Whats the problem with the church today?", I could have just as easily asked, "What's the problem with Neil today", or , "What's wrong with Marie...(or Johnny)" etc...
After all, WE are the church,... amen?

The question I posed before was in itself, in a sense, a distraction from our True Center. Nonetheless, there must be room for those kinds of question, if for no other reason than for the sake of having our own hearts searched of the Lord.

It is for FREEDOMS SAKE that WE HAVE BEEN SET FREE!!!

We must be free to express our weakness, so that HE might be given the glory!!!!

What would it look like to "have it all together"?
I think it would look like a people head over heels in love with the Lord Jesus Christ, and consequently in love with one another.

The Problem With the Church Today....

2007-07-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

Conversation in the comments section of my last post has spurred me to ask one simple question.

What is the problem with the church today?

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard it said, "The problem with the church today is....", and likewise, I could not tell you how many times I have said the exact same thing myself.

So if you could, in, let's say 20 words or less, express what YOU think "the problem with the church today" is, please do so in the comments section.

I'm not looking for anyone to pick apart their church!!!
What I am asking about is the church as a whole....IN GENERAL.

The only thing that I ask is that you respond in a spirit of humility and not arrogance and I will try to do the same.

If you would, forward this post to as many people as you'd like, and I will be sure to do the same.

It would be interesting to see the varying (or maybe not so varying) results from everyone.

I fully realize that "fault finding" isn't the way to Life in the church, but if there are genuine convictions on the hearts of Gods people, they need to be expressed.

I Look forward to your responses!

Disclaimer

2007-07-25T14:16:00.001-07:00

On his most recent album, "Ringing Bell", Derek Webb sings a line which says, "Baby don't let 'em,...don't let them put a name on you".

I get it.

You ever wonder just how many "camps" there are in all of Christianity?

Just take a look here for just a glimpse at the diversity that exists within the body of believing Christians.

And that is just a glimpse.

So what is the disclaimer all about, ...and the lyrics mentioned above?

I don't "align" myself with any of them.
Nor do I align myself with any thing, group, church, etc...

Don't get me wrong.
I truly admire, benefit, and even participate in all kinds of things and with all kinds of people.
There are countless ministries that are being and doing wonderful things in the name of the Lord and I thank God for them.

Some small and unnoticed, some large and high profile.

But I am not really a part of a thing. I am a part of a Person.

In the same song, Derek says, "The truth may be with you today, but may be gone tomorrow....".

I recently answered the question which was something like this: "What teacher has had the most influence on your life and why?"

It's actually a very good question and I have no doubt that it was asked from a pure heart and with a good conscience.
Truly.

But what that question means to me or you, and what that question may mean to someone else could be two radically different things.

The truth is, I believe that I am just about like everyone else in that I will listen to just about anyone (for a minute at least) and then I'll take whats good and disregard the rest.

As a matter of fact, that's all I would expect anyone to do who may be listening to me.

My first response to the question was, "Impossible question!".
But then I had to follow with what I believe to be the most truthful answer I could figure.
"Norman P. Grubb
Great teacher...very clear...very pure...resonates deeply".

And again, I recently sited him as one whom I greatly admire, but the truth is that I have not read his entire body of work (very little of it, relatively speaking) but I know that I have, indeed gleaned much from what I have been exposed to!

I never want to be known as one who says, "I am of Paul, or Peter, or Norman, or Gene, etc..."

I think that's important.

This isn't a matter of saving face, but it is a matter of keeping myself in line with the Holy Spirit.

Paul even said that there were some saying, "I am of Christ..." but even that was wrong!
Go figure!!

I suppose where I stand in all of this is that I align myself with no man or "ministry" because I belong to the Lord, and therefore I belong to everyone.

"Even "the sinners" and "the lost"?

I am chief, but by the grace of God, I am holy.

"What about the religious or the pious"?

Again, I am chief, but count those things as dung compared to what we have in Christ Jesus.

This may be hard for some to swallow, but this is where the Lord has me.

(Yikes! This almost feels like self-defense here, but truly, I just want to be more clear.)

The Spirit Meter

2007-07-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

So...
Terry Taylor from The Lost Dogs whipped out this handmade cardboard "meter" which he wanted to use on stage.
The way it worked was for the crowd to applaud if they thought the band was functioning in "the anointing".

The more we applauded the more he would move the big red needle over to the "spirit" side of the gauge, but just when it started to peak out in "the spirit" he would say, "Uh oh, were getting puffed up, were getting puffed up...", and he would slide the needle back over towards "the flesh".

Beautiful illustration!

I believe the point that he was trying to make was that, first, we really have no reason to go around judging the spiritual condition of our brothers and sisters and second, things aren't always as black and white as we would like for them to be.

Since we have been looking at the "out-working" of the Spirit, (or as Paul would say, our "salvation"), this seems to be a very relevant illustration.

I totally see Terry's point.

Why go around looking for specks when we have logs of our own, right?

In my own personal experience, I have come to know at least two kinds of "judgment".

There is one kind of judgment which is like a measuring stick.
This kind of judgment involves our measuring everything according to our expectations.

"Do they do these things...?, Are they not doing these things..?, What do they believe about this matter or that matter...?, Where do they stand on this issue...?, etc...

Over the years I have found this type of judgment to be mostly fruitless.
Sure, there may be some practical implications involved with those kinds of measurements, some very basic and fundamental things which can be determined, and I appreciate and find value in that, but for the most part I have come to realize that this kind of thinking quickly leads to division even within the Body of Christ.

(Well....sort of, but we can talk about that some other time.)

But for now, let me try to explain the other kind of judgment.

The countenance on ones face is very often the best spiritual "meter" one could ever have.
Even more so are the eyes.

This isn't to say that one who is in fellowship with the Lord cannot suffer.
This is not to say that a saint in whom the Lord has gained much ground can't "mourn with those who mourn" (and we all know that there is plenty to mourn about here on this planet.)

That being said, I cannot deny the fact that, personally, from time to time, I find myself enraptured with the Love of God to the point where I just cannot contain the smile on my face.

Surely you know this experience!!

Sometimes, while in this condition, I will meet with a brother or sister and the expression on their face shouts out, "What are you smiling for!?"

And my heart breaks.

"Don't you know?", I think to myself.
Sometimes I declare Jesus Christ. Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I am robbed of my joy and I find myself in the same pit as my neighbor.

To be fair, sometimes the tables are turned and I am the one trying to figure out why you are so stinkin' happy.
Thinking back on times like that, I have no problem admitting that during much of those times, I was walking after "the flesh".
In other words, I had no sense of the Lord, no leading of anything other than the desires of my body and my "self".

But DURING those times, I would probably not admit that.

So, can we make sense of this?

Maybe.

Maybe we have that joy for a reason.
Maybe we are supposed to meet the sorrows of others with the joy of Christ.
Maybe even that joy is to be governed by the Spirit and distributed in a way that only He knows how to do.

Even though we are first encouraged to be like our Lord Jesus (Philippians), the One who realized His equality with God, yet humbled Himself to death on a cross, we are, in the same letter encouraged to have our minds set on things above and to rejoice, rejoice, and rejoice!!!

When we find ourselves high minded, we find ourselves lacking in true joy of the Spirit, but when we are found "lowly", considering others above ourselves, we discover afresh the joy of the Living Waters in our spirit.

What does this have to do with out-growth?
How can it be applied practically?

Here is one suggestion.
The next person you encounter..., treat them as if they were Jesus Christ Himself.

Lost Dogs

2007-07-21T16:51:00.001-07:00

Hopefully, my wife and I, and a couple of saints that we know from the hood will be at this event at the Douglasville First Presbyterian Church tomorrow night.
I think it costs $15.00

Come on out, it should be a great time of refreshment for the soul.
Just don't get there earlier than me because I want a good seat.
:-)
Heh...

Out-Growth

2007-07-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

(Edited from original...there were some incomplete thoughts and statements. Please forgive me.)

"Why do you post"?

It's for the Lord.

If it is for the Lord, then it must also be for me and you, right?

I have been thinking about the out-growth of the Life of Christ ( and so has Marie),... and what that means.
To some, just the fact that I would be considering such a thing would be evidence that I was moving in the wrong "direction", that perhaps my desire to become more mature in the Lord could actually become a distraction from enjoying my place in Him, presently.

I see their point.
Furthermore, and from a different angle even, the disciples argued about who would become the "the greatest"... once they entered the kingdom.
I'm sure Jesus couldn't help but to chuckle as He listened to their childish banter.

But, there is a difference between being desirous of "power" for the sake of "authority" in and of itself, and being desirous to know the power and authority of the Lord.

Who doesn't know that the name Nicodemus means "conqueror"?

What was his occupation?
Do you recall Jesus' words to him?

Taking his name and occupation into consideration, what kind of power do you think he was accustomed to?

Surely you remember. If not, just look it up.
(Go on, you know you want to...)

Is that a coincidence?

But Jesus cuts to the chase.

"You can't just get it, Nicodemus... "

"Not unless you are born from above".

So what does this have to do with "out- growth"?

Everything, actually.

It is so easy to think that out-growth can happen simply by trying harder to do something.
That's simply not true.

We are born.
We grow because we are fed and cared for.

How should we feel while this is happening?
Well...
Your Papa is God and the very first thing that He wants you to know is that you are totally and completely forgiven and totally and completely LOVED.

(Forgiven for what?! You are joking, ...right?)

He teaches us this and He demonstrates this as well.
Teaching is no good without demonstration (dare I site brother James?)

How does that make you feel?

Why?

What kinds of things can we expect to see during this process?
Surely there is a golden thread that can be found in every one of His stories, and in a sense, there is really only one story...

This golden thread has many aspects about it and within it, but I want to focus in on one aspect.

Victory.
This is what out-growth looks like (although it is still only one aspect).

I have a clue for you. And I don't even need to tell you this. But Victory, at it's heart, is not something that we accomplish.
And it is not something that the "world" would necessarily recognize as being victorious.

It is a Person.

So should "out-growth" in itself ever become a preoccupation. Not really, no.
But there is something that absolutley must remain our center.
The Lord Jesus Christ.
Wander too far, for too long, and you will find yourself a mess.
*************************************************************************************

Alright everyone!
Again, this is an open meeting.
Please invite anyone you desire.
I would love to hear some sincere voices (as I have encountered them here quite a bit lately)!

Here's the funny part though.
In this kind of meeting, no one person is given the sole privilege of speaking or sharing, but rather, we may all express ourselves.

No one is "right".
Only the Lord is "right".

May we share the Lord?

Sometimes there are awkward silences.
Sometimes there is "shooting down" rather than "building up".
But what can happen is that God can be glorified.

When this truly happens, the unbelieving and the unlearned can fall on their faces,...again , bringing glory to God.

It really depends on what the Lord wants to say or do, and how much ground He has in our hearts.

(Even still, I wouldn't even limit Him to that....)

"..Only God is good."

~Jesus Christ

More than Words

2007-07-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

I know that I'm not alone when I say that the Lord speaks to us in many different ways.
Of course He was manifest in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ and was, Himself a living demonstration of Love incarnate, but that doesn't prevent Him from speaking to us now in whatever way He may presently see fit.
Amen?

Which brings me to the core of my post today.
Here are some lyrics from the band "Extreme", a song from the 80's (or 90's...help, Jeremy!).

I'm not concerned with what the writers intentions were when they wrote it, but to me, now, the lyrics are pure.
More Than Words
by Extreme:

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real

What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

(Any reaction is a good reaction...)

TESTIMONY

2007-07-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

Do you have a testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ?

I'm not just asking primarily about your initial "salvation" experience, although it would be great to hear about that.

This is not a loaded question.

I am asking for someone or anyone to tell me about what the Lord is to them or what He has done in your life.

I'll go first.

The Lord Jesus Christ has delivered me from my sin. He has removed guilt and shame from my conscience. Guilt and shame that had been there for many years.

These are not just words, or memorized doctrine, but my true experience of Him!

Not only that, but He has fulfilled all that was ever required of me.

I am free from guilt and shame due to my former sins.

What a wonderful experience!

He Lives in me, inside of me, and He also covers me.
I know the Lord!

He has redeemed me as a human being.
Because He is in me and because HE is my life, I am restored and put right with God.

He governs my heart.
I understand freedom and boundaries.

Do I fail?
Of course I fail, but I MAY BOAST IN MY WEAKNESS AND HE IS FOUND TO BE STRONG.

I THANK GOD and GIVE GLORY TO GOD for WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE DOES!

This is not my testimony, but it is HIS TESTIMONY!!!

As a dear brother in the Lord has said in other ways, "What was once a horror story, has become an exciting adventure!!"

I make no claims to anything other than my experience in Christ.
I have done nothing "right" to deserve this!!!!

"Praise the Lord!"
Those words used to annoy me because I could not really identify with them. They seemed to come from the mouths of "big haired" religious freaks, and men who were ruled by greed and lust.

Maybe they meant those words, I don't know, but regardless if they said them in sincerity or not, I understand those words!

I could just as easily say "WaaaaHoooooo....YiiiiiiPeeeeeeee...!!!"
That works, but I also want to give credit where credit is due.
YAHWEH, I AM, ABBA FATHER, GOD, etc....

I don't care if this is only a "high season" for me or not, I thank Him for who He is, what He does and how He does it.

I would love to hear other testimonies! If nothing else just a simple "AMEN" will do.

You are Loved of God In Christ!!!!

meme

2007-07-13T19:06:00.000-07:00

Brother Scott Mitchell hit me with some tough, but interesting questions today.
I think this is something called "meme".

The deal is that after answering the questions, I get to make up five questions and send them to five other bloggers.

Scott's Questions/ My Answers

1. What teacher has had the most influence in your life? Why?

Impossible question!

Norman P. Grubb.
Great teacher. Very clear and pure. Resonates deeply.

2. If you could write the "Great American Novel" what would the first line be?

"Stop! Do not read this book. If you do, you will never read another book,...ever."

3. Which job would you prefer: the guy holding the 'slow down' sign in a work zone, a ring announcer at a world championship boxing match, or the person serving sample snacks at a Sam's or grocery store?

Sample Server (grocery store).

4. If you have just awakened from a coma, who would you like to see first and why?

My wife, Missy.
I fall in love with her more and more all the time. If my memory were damaged, I would have the joy of falling in love with her again, for the first time!

5. If you could get a do-over in high school, what would you change?

Nothing.

Now for MY questions (below), I choose Neil, Jasmin, Michael, Margaret Ann, and Jeremy.
(The funny part is that I truly think that Jeremy is my only reader, and right now, he is probably SICK of answering my questions!!).

1. If you could make up a national (or worldwide) holiday, what would it be called?

2. Which of the characters from Winnie the Pooh do you relate to the most?

3. How about Gilligan's Island?

4. If a sitcom were made about your life, what would it be called?

5.If you could keep only three books from your bookshelf, which three would they be?

Now you guys (and gals) get to do the same (if you want, of course) and please link back to me!!

Still,..More Questions.......

2007-07-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

1) Could a baby read this question?

2) Would a baby care if you asked him these questions?

3) Isn't that the way it is supposed to be?

4) Do you think these questions are meant for babies?

5) How about little children? Might they understand these questions?

6) Is there anything at all wrong with being a child?

7) What would their responses to these questions be?

8) What do you think the intentions are behind these questions?

OK folks.
Even if you're not enjoying these questions, I am.

I like understanding.
The Lord gives it and It brings clarity.

Simple Questions

2007-07-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

1) What is the difference between living and walking?

2) Do we learn to live or is that something we do without effort?

3) Does walking require effort?

4) Could you put forth effort if you were not alive?

5) How does one become alive?

6) What causes a child to desire the skill of walking?

7) When one walks (literally), outside of possible physical pain, is there much consideration as to how difficult it is, or do you not really think about it?

8) Is it the same for toddlers and teenagers, or fully grown adults?

I would love to hear your comments.
Anyone?

Brief Meditation

2007-07-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

What am I?

1. Sinner?
2. Saint?
3. Somewhere in between?
4. All of the above?
5. None of the above?
6. Other?
7. Don't really care?

I would love to hear any comments from anyone on why they see themselves the way they do.

Honestly, this could be an interesting conversation.

Peace
:-)

Hi There!

2007-07-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to say that I'm alive and well, and plan to do some posting very soon.

I don't have a counter on my site, so I have no way of knowing who or how often readers check in.

All I can say right now, is that I think I'll have something worth sharing next time I post.
Things are very good.
God is Real.
VERY REAL.

Till next time...

BREAK

2007-06-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

It's time for a retreat.
My vacation from work is almost over and I'm getting ready for things to get back to normal.

It's been a good break.

I've gotten some clarity from the Lord on a handful of things, and He has cracked the doors open to a couple of new rooms.

The light keeps getting brighter and the darkness keeps fading away.
Such is the way of the Lord.

I'm breaking from BlogWorld for a while, there are some things I need to get back to.
In the meantime, I pray the Lord reveal Himself to us all more and more.

G'night.

Just one more thing before I go...

2007-06-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

Although my last post told you I was taking a break, I was moved to post this, which was still in "draft" status last night.
Anyway, It's something that has lots of familiar lingo, and yet the Lord is really beggining to open my eyes and heart as to what it really means.

May His revelation continue in us all.....

As time goes on, I become more and more aware of the difference between the God that is real and the God that is nothing more than an accumulation of information from a wide variety of sources.

In the Christian world, the argument that is so often made is that "their" God is the one of the bible. And I would agree with that.
But I would add, that there is a difference between "the God of the Bible" and the God of the bible.

Certainly you're not confused!?

The fact is that there is a god of the mind, which is rooted in the "flesh", but there is also the God of Spirit.
"I AM"

The god of the mind is the teacher of torment, the captain of confusion, and the deity of death.
Within this god can be found self righteousness right along with self centeredness.

The effect of his poison leaves one in a state which teeters between pride and self-disgust.

He is a messenger who, while designed originally to give glory to God, turned that glory in upon himself and has been warped ever since.

The God of Spirit is the same God who revealed Himself in the person of Jesus Christ.

He is the God of reconciliation (or more broadly, the God who IS love).

He Is the One who, in Christ,

"being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation..."

This is the total and exact opposite of the nature of the deceiver.

While the wicked one may not have been made in the form of God, he certainly desires to be one of reputation, as do all who have him at their center.

However, the reputation of a "God carrier" is to be known as one who gives glory to God and this can only be done in and through Spirit.

This is the whole point of all holy scripture.

Reconciliation between God and man which corresponds to reconciliation between man and man.

"Love God with everything that you are and love your neighbor as yourself" (my paraphrase).

Some shutter at the idea of being reconciled to their enemies.
They do not trust them. Many do not trust themselves.
In many cases, this is probably very accurate and "correct".

The truth is that it takes two (actually three, but lets save that for later...) to truly reconcile.
If I offer my repentance and you refuse to give your forgiveness, then I have lived up to my side of the deal.
The "ball" is in your court.

In the same way, if you were to offer me your forgiveness, and I have yet to offer my repentance, then it leaves me with a hindrance in-between us (although it is a hindrance which your forgiveness works against in a passive, yet irresistible way).

The key to all of this, of course, is to see that, in Christ, there is both forgiveness and repentance. There is full reconciliation in Him.

Yes, even repentance is in Christ.

Because Jesus Christ IS the reconciliation between God and man, He has accomplished His work on both sides of the dichotomy.

As God, He offers forgiveness to mankind for their sins.
This is His mercy.

As man, he offers repentance to God in having turned from his self-life to doing the will of His Father.

"Not my will, but yours, Father..."

This is His Justice.
What could be more just than having done the will of God?!

In Christ, we find mercy and justice.
In Christ, we find forgiveness and repentance.
All of these works were accomplished before the foundations of the world.
And they were clearly demonstrated at the cross of Calvary.

None of these things can be found outside of the Spirit.

"The wind blows where it desires, and you hear the sound of it, but you can't tell where it's coming from nor where it is going.
This is the the way of those born of the Spirit"

If you don't understand what is being said here, "...don't marvel when I say,
You must be born again".

Believe it or not, I'm not talking about "Christianity".
(if that last sentence bothers you, then good! It's supposed to!!)

OUR GOD IS A GOD OF REVELATION.
It is His nature to be revealed to His people.

And this He does BY HIS SPIRIT and THROUGH HIS PEOPLE.

Maybe the Best Book I've Ever Read. Seriously.

2007-06-20T15:01:00.000-07:00

I'm not kidding.
This book touches on and expands the hidden gems of the Spirit that you thought only existed deep within your own heart.

Please read it.

Right Here, Under the Rainbow...

2007-06-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

We were greeted with this incredible reminder of Gods Love for mankind as we were on our way to the home of our brother and friend, David.

The One shared His Love with us all, and the sparks of that Love were sure to set afire the dry lands nearby.

I am still encouraged by the happenings and conversations that took place among friends and family, and look forward to more of those treasured moments.

We had a good break away from things as usual, but as the saying goes, "There's no place like home".

Driving Around in Reality ~OR~ Next time You Lose Your Keys, Find them in God

2007-06-05T19:50:00.001-07:00

I love it when I come to understand something.

I think that some revelation takes place in the "surface world"...like..., "Where in the world are my car keys?!", followed by;

"Oh....
Here they are".

And then you have the ones that seem to just open up the floodgates and give you the experience of joy, contentment, and yes even understanding.

I'm not referring to a memorization of information so much as I am a "familiarity" with whatever it is that is being understood.

Does that make sense?

It's like my new (used) car.

I've had it for a couple of months now.
For the first week or so, I was a little bit "afraid "of it.

It was the most expensive vehicle I have ever bought. The stereo sounds good, the paint is nice, and it runs really well.

PRAISE GOD!!!!
I am incredibly thankful for my car!

I've never had anything like it in my life.

It took me a while to feel out the tension in the suspension.
I think I pretty much have it down now.

Now I know where all the buttons are that lock doors and control the windows and how long a full tank of gas will last.

I could write a manual about all the facts of this car, but the only thing that the facts can do is point one towards a WORKING knowledge which only truly comes about by experience.

Manuals are certainly helpful for certain things....
especially mechanical things.

If I wrote a story about this experience (would probably be an odd story, but, hey...), at least I could possibly "transport" you there via your imagination...., and I could even put in some technical details which might bring it to life just a little bit more.

It is a wonderful thing to get caught up in a good story!

However, when you actually buy a car and begin to drive it and experience it for yourself with everything that the experience entails,...

then you have something.

Then you have the Reality!

Tradition: The Subtle SlaveMaster

2007-06-04T15:35:00.000-07:00

I'm just sitting here pondering the power of tradition.

It's really much, much more powerful than you think.

This is not a new thought to my mind at all (as those of you who know me can attest).

You know people lose their friends over it, and marriages are dissolved and families are shattered because of it?
Many, many....many people are held captive to it, and are enslaved to the fear (reinforced by others) of departing from it.
Some people are even killed over it.

It's really sad.
Terribly, terribly sad.

Sorry, didn't mean to ruin your day...
This is just a real concern of mine for some reason.

Hmm.

That's it for today.
Be well.

Presently in the Past?....whut tha'....

2007-05-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

For obvious reasons, It's clear to me that not everything should be shared with everyone.

That's a lesson that we all have probably learned by now.
It takes time to discover who can be trusted and who cannot.
It sucks but that's just the way it is.

Therefore, I find myself unable to journal here about everything, and sometimes find myself speaking more in generalities than specifics.

Now that I've set the stage....

It is hard to admit when you discover insecurities within yourself, isn't it?
Where do they come from?

The past, I suppose, but what does that mean?

Could not the past also be referred to as "the old"?

When something is past, isn't it also, by it's very nature, old?

How is it that the past, manages to haunt our present?
(Hm. Present, like..."Christmas present"...hmmmm..., a gift...)

Maybe it's because drifting into the past has become such an ingrained habit and pattern of living, that it requires a jolt from the Great Beyond to wake us up to the Now.

Now sounds a lot like New, doesn't it?

Insecurity is the same thing as fear.
Fear is the result of living in the past.

We find ourselves living in the fear of the old past when we fail to see the gift that we have now in the present.

Sometimes it's just all so clear!

It's time to give honor where honor is due.

2007-05-19T15:30:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has read any of my earlier posts on this blog can easily see that I have a rough time with religion, church, and religious, churchy people. I really don't see any reason to elaborate on any of that at this present time.

That being said, I would like to acknowledge some of the more precious and positive experiences that my family and I have encountered and continue to encounter here in the midst of a house church community.

I need to clarify a bit more here....

What I am addressing here in this post are PEOPLE. Not a thing, ritual, service, idea, or philosophy, but LIVING PEOPLE who are integral parts of the WHOLE PERSON.

Sometimes I thank God for my health.
Good health is certainly a blessing. Who doesn't enjoy good health (when they have it!!!) ? Therefore, I am thankful to God for my physical body and even the various parts of it that make things happen throughout the day.

(Actually, I'm beginning to learn to be thankful even for illness, although I certainly do not prefer that.....,uhhh, another post at some other time, perhaps (?))

In the same way, I am thankful for the members of the larger Body as well and the "health" and vitality which causes them to function properly. In this particular post I would like to express that gratefulness to them and for them, simply giving honor where honor is due.

There are many, many others who I would like to pay tribute to, but for now, this only involves those who are in the house church community in the neighborhood where I live.

While I am fully aware of the "danger" of complements, and how there is always potential for one to become proud or self-righteous, I am also aware that the only Life giving goodness in anyone is strictly given by the grace of God, and the brothers and sisters mentioned here are equally aware of this very fact.

What follows is the very expression of divine life as lived out in this earthly existence which we sometimes refer to as reality.

Some of my Brothers.....

Neil
A man of balance and consideration.
Brother, even though I feel that I, almost regularly, challenge almost everything that comes out of your "keyboard", I want you to know that I have the utmost respect for your insight and wisdom.
You and April are truly a blessing to our family.
I get a genuine "warm fuzzy" when I consider the relationships that are being built among our children.
There's real Life going on there, ya know.

Thank you, Lord, for how you've made Neil.

Did I ever say thank you for finding us our home?

Jim
A man who will settle for nothing less than Jesus Christ.
I don't know if I've ever known a more passionate soul.
I can't wait for summertime when we get to carpool again to and from work. There are only a few people in my life with whom I feel comfortable enough to open my heart and share the things that I cannot share with just anyone else, and you, my brother, are one of those people.
You have been down many roads, and have acquired spiritual gems that others have only heard about.
I say these things without caution because one of those precious jewels is the humility that works in your heart and shines through your eyes, reflecting the very Spirit of Jesus Christ.

You and Anita truly bring passion and spirit when you walk into a room.
You are Vessels of the True Jubilee!!

Thank you for continuously putting up with my arrogance and unending rhetoric on "the way things are and the way things should be".
I love you, bro.

George
What can I say?
Have you not traveled the earth at the beck and call of your Lord?
Your home reminds me of the garden of Eden, and when I see you and Mary together, I see the mystery which was hidden from before the ages.
Love and the Beloved.
You helped me to see, once and for all, and again and again, that, "Brother, WE ARE IN CHRIST!!!"

Mike N.
Steady as a rock, gentle as a lamb. A man of loyalty and perseverance.
When things get hot, you stay cool, and that is just one virtue that makes you worth your weight in gold.
You and Judi have always made me feel very much welcome and comfortable in your home. Thank you.
I know that I don't show it very much, but I respect you tremendously for who you are.
I pray, sincerely, and know that our relationship will continue to grow as time goes on.

Jeremy
My soul brother. We go back a few years, huh?
I remember the first time we met...I fell in (brotherly) love.
You helped to open my eyes to so many things and pointed the way to the direction I was destined to go.
I will never forget our times together with Victor and Dannon and the spontaneous late night baptism at Pensacola Beach.
You never judged me, bro....even (especially)when I felt I deserved it.
I can't tell you how much I miss you and Jenn sometimes. Seriously.
You helped me to move from "think" to "know"...which was one of the most important transitions of my life.

It's always such a pleasure to hang out with you, and I covet those moments in the deepest place of my heart.
I thank God for you.

Kyle
What words come to mind when I think of you?
Truth.
Dignity.
Optimism.
Generosity.

What a treat it was last year to hang out and play guitar with you. The lyrics to your songs still resonate in my mind ....,"You're the One...."
You are a true "light in the world" shining the Light of the One in such a variety of ways, be it the classroom, the ball-court, or the home (and everywhere else).

You and Susan have always been and continue to be such a blessing to our family. It is my most sincere hope to, in someway, be able to be the same for you!!!

(You hooked me up with a great Job, brother!!! Thank You!!!)

I have grown to love you as my brother Kyle, and Susan as my sister...and your little ones are just incredible. I care deeply for you all and wish I could express that better towards you.

I treasure the time we have together, and hope for more in the near future.

Justin
You are a brother that I hardly know, but want to get to know more.
Why do we both have to be so introverted? I guess that's one reason you have Kimmy in your life (as I do Missy), to balance things out.
I love it when I let myself catch your sense of humor, you're a funny guy. But that's not all.
I can see your devotion to the Lord and I hear it in your speech. I believe you are a man of few words, but when they pour out they are of great substance.
Looking forward to spending time with you, maybe another trip up the yellow trail (?)

Mike M.
Wow. Where to begin...
Brother, you have opened me up to so many graces and blessings, many of which you embody yourself.
You gave me mercy and grace when I needed it most, and helped to unshackle chains that have weighed me down for years.
You've led me to living streams of Freedom and Wonder, which I continue to drink from in the still of every moment.
I miss you and Jasmin so much, and cannot wait (even though I must) for our next meeting together.
(Did I say meeting?!)

And a word to/for the single sisters........

I am convinced that there is a most special blessing that comes with the single life. As with any blessing, it can sometimes become shrouded with other things, but I have no doubt whatsoever that you all hold a very special place and purpose in the Masters Divine Scheme.

My heart cares for each and every one of you.

Judi K.
Thank you again and again for all you have done for my family. I know as sure as I am sitting here now, that You have clearly been the Lord taking care and providing for my family. Thank you also for helping me to seize opportunity to be the Lords hands and feet for the sake of others.

Alison
What passion for Jesus Christ!!
On the mountain tops, through the valleys and everywhere in between, you hold closely to your Lord and He shines His light through you.
When you speak, you bring heavenly realms to earth, and when you move you act as a living vessel of God's mercy.
Thank you.

Cindy
One word comes to mind.
Depth.
You are living example of Gods patience. As a matter of fact, in you, I see all of the Fruit of the Spirit. You are so easy to be around, I really appreciate that.

And of course there are so many others....!!!!!
But if I keep going, this post would never end.

I realize that I only gave you married sisters brief mention, but believe it or not this started out just being about the brothers!!!!

I beg your pardon, I assure you that you all hold very special places in my heart.

I realize that words can only convey so much so I apologize that what is written here does no one any real justice.

Please accept my offerings of honor as just that. On the primary level, I want you all to know how I feel about you. On the "secondary" level, If there is any agenda at all involved in this, it is to STRENGTHEN the bond of PEACE and to be reminded of our UNITY in our HERITAGE as sons and daughters of the LIVING God.

Peace!

Now can be scary...but it's all right...

2007-05-17T15:05:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been interesting to say the least.
Somehow, by the grace of God, I have been finding myself outside of my normal "auto-pilot" mode of living.

It's not exactly been easy, either. For the first time in a long time I have been reminded of what it means to, "in all reverence, rejoice with trembling".

What happens when you actually find yourself conscious during your daily life?
You begin to see all kinds of things that you've never seen before; The good, the bad, and the everything else.

The best part is that you really become aware of the wonders of life that are normally overlooked for the sake of "getting through" the day.

And the hardest part? Becoming aware of your own faults and weakness.
The list is too long to post here, but among my many devilish attributes, the ones that have been in the forefront of my conscience lately, are my judgemental heart, ill temper and abusive tongue.

God only knows what damage I have done with just these three.
Lord, have mercy.

Which brings me to the heart of my post for today.

My marriage.

Missy, my wife, and I are two totally different kinds of people.
Last night, we took the time and invested the energy required to actually sit down and talk honestly about...
everything.

And what did we discover?

We are different from one another.

My mind cannot comprehend how she doesn't really care for the music that I love.
At the same time, I'm sure that she doesn't see how a person can just not really like to dance.

While I'm busy writhing and wrestling around with religious and philosophical principles,

(for example; "Why do I consider myself to be qualified enough to talk and write about these kinds of things?...oh yeah...it's just a journal....never mind..., blah, blah, blah...")

she, in wisdom, stands joyfully in the moment, giving thanks for all that makes up her life.

She may not "get it", when it comes to the kinds of things my mind is addicted to, but what I am "getting", more and more, is that she doesn't have to.

And that, to be sure, is a beautiful thing.

That's just one example of the various shared contrasts we possess within our relationship.
There are many, but for now time is short....

So here lies the mystery, the joining together of two opposites.

Complexity and simplicity.
The un-natural and the natural.
The masculine and the feminine.
Even the flesh and the spirit.

So what is the revelation, the resulting offspring and expression of this divine union?

LOVE.

LOVE.

LOVE!

I implore you...
Take the time.
Invest the energy.

I Don't Want to "Title" this Post

2007-05-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

Just got off the phone with Charlie.

I'm so glad that we finally got in touch.
Conversations with him take me back, (or maybe propel me forward?), to a place that I am glad to call home.
Freedom.

I'm slowly letting go of more and more baggage. I've just got too much to fit through that little eye, ya know.

I'm nobody.
Nothing.

That's good and right.

God is All.
That's it.

Allelujah!!!!!!

Tuning Up

2007-05-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine once told me about one of his mentors explaining to him that you can come to a place in your spiritual life where there is no difference between prayer and playing basketball.

Although I have tasted this experience in smaller degrees in the past, it is something that I am more aware of now.

I cherish those quiet, intentional, even regular times of fellowship with God (even when He seems to be absent), but I am finding more and more freedom to exist, consciously, within the All in every moment.

What's it like in that state?
Illuminating yet comforting.

What I am describing is a wonderful way to live, but it's not always easy.
It seems that there is always just enough light to make even yourself a little uncomfortable but it's always balanced just right by the comfort of Spirit.
I believe it's designed this way so that we might still participate in the divine Union. He offers us a glimpse of Himself and we discover an aspect of our lives that is in dissonance with Him.

At this point, we simultaneously react with either desire to "tune-up" or an attitude of discord.
The good news is that, ultimately, He is the true Musician, and not only that but He is also the composer, the symphony, and the music being played. When he turns the keys, we must be willing to let our strings be tightened or loosened, or sometimes even pulled out and replaced with new ones.

Better stop here before the metaphor completely falls apart.

He doesn't want us to just "sit there".
He wants us to first trust and rest in Him, and then also learn to react and respond to Him, ultimately He even wants us to know Him so well, that we can read His mind.

Husbands (of five years or more), can you not do this with your wives?
Wives, how about you?

To me, the God that I have been getting to know lately is looking different to me. He's no longer the bi-polar, schizophrenic bent on tough love and tougher vengeance God.

He is the God who is Satisfied.
He is the God who is Love.
He is the God who is Present.

So here I am again with "knowledge", right?

Not really. This is my experience.
It's not some kind of "spiritual super-power", especially one that I would have any kind of control over. Ironically enough, I'm not claiming anything out of the ordinary at all, it just can sound that way when we try to describe it.

It's just being here, where we really are.

After three years, I finally met my next door neighbor, Victor.
He came out to meet and thank me for just a common courtesy that I had offered a couple of weeks ago.

I recall now being in that state of continual presence while I contemplated whether or not to do the small task which he was later so grateful for after my agreeing with the Spirit to follow through and do it.
But this was such a simple thing. There was nothing sensational about what I did. At all!

I think the only thing "special" about it, is the fact that I recognized the presence of God, and that it is His presence coupled with our reception to it that changes everything.

Victor was truly grateful.

What a Gem of Life.
Genuine gratefulness from the heart.

Sure, who doesn't like dollar bills and gold bars, but give me something that's invaluable!
A true encounter with a portion of Reality.

I guess the overall thought to this post is that, once again, I am learning to recognize and appreciate the sanctity of the ordinary and the beauty of reality.

Progress

2007-05-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine and I have been having a very deep, ongoing conversation pertaining to..., well, just life in general, I suppose.

Maybe more accurately about the way things work.

"Principles", I guess.

We have gone from the beginning of all things, the nature of God, the nature of man, and in a way even the nature of nature itself, straight through to the eternal realms, eternity past, present and future.

We have pored over the issues and problems related to religion and how that works itself out in society.

We have both bashed and praised, our fellow man and even come close to bashing one another in the process.

And all of this via the cell phone.

Today we both realized that this conversation was finished.
It's not that we won't be talking anymore, it's just that it's time to turn the page.

This seems to be the theme of my life lately.
For the last several months, I have felt as though a major shift was about to happen.
Some kind of internal re-arrangement that is just on the verge....

So why is this feeling still lingering?
Why hasn't the shift shifted?

Instinct tells me it's because I look for things to happen instantly.
I am an American after all.

"God,... I said I'd like my McSpiritual Transformation NOW PLEASE."

So what else is my instinct telling me?

That this isn't about a major shift, it's more about steady growth.

That was more or less the conclusion of our six-month long, daily telephone conversation.

He summed it up like this, "So you think that these things that we go through and regard as digression are, in reality, progression?"

"Yep".

And it took six months to hash that out.
So, was there anything else?

Yeah...
I think we might love each other a little more now than we used to.

Maybe that means our conclusion was right.

Prayer Request

2007-05-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

I'm at work right now, so I don't have much time to "blog".
My youngest girl, Becky, has an ear infection. Been running a fever between 102 and 104 for the last three days.She's going to the clinic this morning.

Please pray for her.

And me too.

Thank you.

Digging...

2007-05-06T17:58:00.000-07:00

I think my last post was the result of a relapse back into my former mode of blogging.

All apologies.
I'm really trying to keep this one more from the heart and less from the head. There is a difference.

So, what's in the heart today?

Lets see....

Wow, it's a bad sign when you have to dig...

Tension.
Communication problems.
Mixed feelings.
Heaviness.
Sorrow.

How can a person who has so much, feel like he has so little?
It's kind of like the old line, "All dressed up, with no place to go".

I should stop here.

But I'm not going to.

Still in "flashback" mode, I guess....

This being said, I am convinced that it all has to do with the difference between knowing and being, or even more accurately, the difference between being and doing.

I'm a hypocrite when I don't have to be. That's my problem.
But that's exactly why I have taken the turn in life that I have.
A hypocrite is an actor, one who puts on a display of something other than who he or she really is.
I can't live that way anymore.

Why is it such a struggle to honestly express myself?
Perhaps because so much of my time has been spent expressing someone else.
Practice is everything, even when you are practicing your own natural organic expression of who you already are.

I don't know, I have a myriad of different thoughts and feelings about these things, and the funny thing is that I don't really think there is an answer, and if there is, right now, I don't really care.

What happened to the "grounding" that I was experiencing just the other day?
It would seem as if it has, today, been replaced with more of a "grinding".

Still, in the big picture, I can honestly say that things are leveling off for me.

Admittedly, it's been a hard day, but even so, I hold to what I know is true.
And when even that dissolves into the All, I know that I am closer still, to the One who is Love.

No more posts until I have more balance.

Its All Good

2007-05-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

It's really neat when you find someone saying something that you thought was unique to your own thinking.

It's been said that, "there's nothing new under the sun".
Very true, but what about the things that are above or even outside of the realm of the sun?

I suppose these other things could be called the mysteries of life. The deeper things of reality which have their origins in One who is without origin or, rather, who is Origin Himself, One who Just Is.
Ironically, we are given pictures of and clues to these hidden things and they can be found, literally, in anything or in any place that we might find ourselves.

However, these things would be considered mysterious only until there was a revelation. Revelation is the key to opening up the mysteries, the divine tool, perhaps even the Lamp, which is graced to us from an Other, in order that we might see and partake of the hidden treasures of True Reality.

Until there is revelation, we have mystery and this mystery most often takes the form of contradiction. Opposing ideas, incongruent communication and irreconcilable differences.

Within these things is where the truth really lies waiting to be revealed.

Scary?

Not really, just mysterious.

While it is sometimes easy to become afraid of such things, I am of the deep conviction that, in Reality, there is nothing to fear at all.
For some reason, I believe that the One who is over all and in all would rather have us to be excited, optimistic, and in awe as opposed to afraid, pessimistic, and apathetic.

So in the face of corrupt world affairs, impossible personal relationships and the fact that, in the words of Bob Dylan, "everything is broken", because of revelation, I am able to recieve the unction from within my deepest part, which has declared to me with an uncontrollable yet heart-felt chuckle that,

"It's all good".

Just life as it is.

2007-05-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

Well, the coffee date didn't happen.
Turns out neither one of us were feeling very well so we just postponed it for another time.
Probably a good thing as I am just now beginning to gain a sense of being "grounded".

That's really important to me.

I have a reputation of being the passionate fireball type when it comes to things "spiritual" or philosophical. For a while, I kinda got off on that.

"Better watch out, or I'll bust out Isaiah style on your ass"!

It's not that I planned on being this way with the guys I was to have coffee with, it's just something that happens. It's way too easy to justify an arrogant attitude using explanations like, "I guess I'm just like a prophet type, ya know...?" or, "Jesus told it like it was".

Honestly, a part of me really believes that this is truly the way I am. That's why this is all such a struggle for me.

Oh, by the way, please forgive my slang. Personally, I don't really see it as profanity, but if it really bothers you, maybe you should read something else.

Not that I plan on being vulgar or anything.....

Uhhh...
Anyway..

Passion is a good thing, but it's just like anything else, I think.

It has to be channeled and appropriated.

There are definitely some changes going on inside of me. Good ones, if I may use that word (inside joke).

More and more, my bitter thoughts and feelings are dying away and being replaced with..,well,...Life.

There is a "Sweetness" that I'm getting more and more familiar with. With it comes the subtle hints of welled up tears and genuine belly laughs.

Can the virtue of a man ever truly be separated from the person?

I don't think so.

Speaking of sweetness, I'm discovering that I really do have friends.
You know who you are. Thanks.

Really.
***************************************************************************

You ever wonder if God is the biggest humanist of all?
Hmm. Maybe I'll follow that thought next time (?)

Well, that's it for today. Nothing extremely profound or even highly interesting. Just life as it is.
And that's good enough for me.

A New Day (?)

2007-04-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

I can remember when I first got on the fundamentalist bandwagon.

Funny thing is that I didn't even know there was such a thing.

I take that back.

I just didn't realize that I had jumped on when I did.

Maybe I was just hi-jacked, drugged and brainwashed.

Back then I would go on-line to find various "chat rooms".

Once "inside" I would go to great lengths, preaching the gospel to everyone until they would throw me out.
But it wasn't just the gospel I was preaching, it was also whatever doctrinal belief that I felt strongly about at the time.

I remember going into "gay" chat rooms and pointing out the sin that these people were living in.
One guy said he was going to report me as a "hate criminal" to some federal authorities.

I didn't hate anyone. I Just told them all that they were going to hell. That's all.

************************************************************************************

But today is a new day.

Right?

I'm beginning to wonder.

It won't be long, maybe a week or so,and I'll be in a local coffee shop with a couple of guys whom I met online at a ministers blog-site.

I found myself in there preaching my beliefs on, among other things, my dis-belief in what I call the institutional religious system (known by most of you as "church").

Now, I'm regretting the things I've said during those conversations. Not because I feel that I can't hold my own in such a discussion, but because...well..., I just want friends. "Brothers", if you will. But I don't want that relationship to be founded on religious ideas. I want it to be founded in love.

Any other commonality would be a bonus.

I feel too strongly about the things I believe in for my own good, and I want that to relax some.

Judgement Day (again?...already??)

2007-04-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

So, it hasn't been 24 hours and I'm posting again already.

Why on Earth...?

It's because I feel like every time I open my mouth (or peck at a keyboard), I am saying things that I shouldn't be saying.

But why?

Aren't these the things that are running through my mind?
Shouldn't I be allowed to express the way I feel about the issues going on in my life?

To me, this all hangs in some kind of balance between being who I am and being who I should be.

Apparently, I am who I am.

Let me get to the heart of the issue here.

I'm angry.
I'm angry because nobody gives a shit about anybody other than themselves and their "own".
People suck. Even the good ones.

"Let's keep our little spiritual club up and running, but hey, if you're not doing what we're doing, then, well, you'll just have to wait".

"Besides, if you're not with us, you're against us."

Makes me want to scream!!!!!!

I'm slowly getting over it.

But in the meantime, where do I cast the blame?

God?
Myself?
Others?

Who am I to judge?

What I'm finding out is that people tend to become whatever it is they hate.
This seems to be a universal principle.

People that hate institutional religion will find themselves within institutional religion; one which they themselves create (and then they will refuse to admit it).

But then again, people that hate judgemental Bloggers just may end up....(well, you know....)

The best I can do is to try to become aware of the fact that I am judging and, when that happens, turn that judgement in upon myself.

I must become the sin that I despise.
Not "I must" , but "I do".

Until "death".

Only then am I delivered.

A Little Personal History,...A Little Heartache

2007-04-23T15:26:00.000-07:00

Today was rough.
I guess it really started last night.I'm just really starting to see and feel the repercussions of stepping out of "the group".

Let me back up a bit. Without going into my whole life story, let me give you a little background as to where I'm coming from.

I grew up in a home with my father, mother, two sisters and one brother.

My folks are both believers, but not really in the "conventional" sense of the word.
I think, as a family, we went to church one time, and I think we did that because my moms brother, a baptist minister, nearly bugged my folks to death.

It was a strange experience.

Even as a nine year old child, I was keen enough to realize that this whole "church" thing was just plain weird. And it wasn't just the "church" thing, it was the kind of life that these people were living.

Granted, I didn't spend a whole lot of time with "christian" people, but that's because most of the time that I did spend with them was very, well, draining.

There were a couple of exceptions, but not enough to convince me that this "church" thing was the way to go.
Even the few people who seemed to have any life left in them usually displayed it behind a partial veil of memorized dogma, condescending language and suspicious eyes.

And surely they had every right to be suspicious. After all, here we were, a family of heathens living in darkness, outside the walls of the "House of God".
We had not subjected ourselves to the weekly hearing of the "word of God", nor had we given ten percent of our income to the perpetuation of new sanctuaries, pastors salaries or office supplies.

We were "lost".

Thank God.

But being "lost" was only the beginning.

Several years later, I had an experience that I can only refer to as "the void".
I know that there is specific christian terminology for what I am talking about, but I don't care.

For me, it was just a matter of standing face to face with emptiness itself.
More than that though, I was actually submerged in it.

All of my pursuits, my "loves", my lusts, my habits, my life,....my SELF...,these were all found to be vain. Empty.
No purpose other than SELF purpose.

At that time, I tried to communicate these feelings to my girlfriend who replied with, "You need Jesus".

I believed her.

So I went to where Jesus could be found; "the Church".
The big brick building which had, itself, been the home to at least three different denominations in the ten years that I lived on that side of town (funny thing is that I think now it is a center for "new age" studies. HA!)

To be honest, I couldn't for the life of me, recall anything the preacher spoke about. I was bored out of my skull.
I just remember this long aisle with deep red carpet.

I suppose it was during the altar call, that my girlfriend nudged me in the rib and said, "Go!! Go up there!!"

And there I went, reluctantly.
I kneeled down, repeated the "prayer" that the preacher spoke into my ear, stayed for a minute, and that was it.

Nothing happened.
Nothing changed.
Didn't ever want to do that again.

Now I'm going to fast forward quite a bit to the more recent past.

I ended up going to a well known "non-denominational" denomination and "committing my life" to Jesus Christ.
As time went on, I began to realize that I hadn't committed my life to anything other than bible reading (something I had already been doing for a few years anyway), church attendance, tithing, and a fake smile.

It took me awhile to figure out what kind of power these "church's" have over people.
It's not the power of God or the Holy Spirit.

It's the power of the Book.

But the Book only has power if you believe that it does.

When it's used in this way, it's really no different than any other Idol or superstition.

I'm not here, now, to express my beliefs about the bible, but, today,I am here to journal about my experience with it when it's used in the wrong way.

If your perception of the Book is one that conjures up fear in your heart, then it is very easy for that fear to be taken advantage of.
On top of that, if that fear is reinforced by the pious man holding the Book, it gets even worse.
There's already plenty of stuff in there to scare the hell out of the unlearned, but when the Book is given to the "learned", and he knows that if he can scare the hell out of you that you will conform to his agenda, then you have a bad, bad situation.

Needless to say, this stint with the "church" lasted all of about two years.
They beat me up a little, but they couldn't break me.

It would take much more than that.

After coming out of the system, I heard of an expression of church where the people:
1. Met in there homes (not in huge buildings).
2. Lived within walking distance to one another.
3. Did not have a specific, dogmatic creed.
4. Did not use the Book as the focus of their meetings.
5. Did not have any paid ministers.
6. Shared openly during their meetings

Sounded good to me.

A little time passed and I packed up my family and we moved two states away to be a part of what we hoped would be the true church in the world today.

This was my last hope in "church".
If this wasn't it, I was done.

So...
I'm done.

It is Finished.

I've gained some good things from this last effort. I've learned some things that I could never have learned anywhere else.

I think that, now, I understand some of the things that Jesus had to say like, "What seek Ye?".
And, "The kingdom of God doesn't come with observation."

I've come to realize the difference between a "thing" and a"way", and it is the Way that is way more important than the thing.

Now what does all this have to do with my having such a rough day?

Because I miss the people who are in the thing. The problem is that If you're not a part of the thing, then, lets just say, you must be in the Way.

Starting Over

2007-04-19T18:49:00.000-07:00

I can remember, when I was young, being in several serious relationships with different young ladies.

Some of them I really liked, although I probably didn't LOVE them as much as I thought I did.
As a matter of fact, I'm sure that most of the relationships were based more in sexual gratification than anything else. Not that sex was the only thing we had in common, it was just the main focus of our time together.

No, this isn't a post about sex.
It's actually about relationship.

More specifically, it's about the "broken" kind of relationship.

After two or three of these semi-long term love affairs, I became aware of a certain dynamic that takes place during the break up.

It's the dynamic of simultaneous fear, sadness, joy, and refreshment all at once.
I don't have a word for it, I just know it when it happens.

That's kind of the same dynamic that's going on inside of me right now, only this time, I'm not breaking up with a woman.
This time, I'm breaking up with religion.

I'm sure to some folks, this could sound like a very negative thing. "Spiritual suicide".
Trust me. It's not.

As a matter of fact, right now, it's the only thing that can save my Life.

The sad part is that I'm afraid that in the process, I'm going to lose some friends over this.
At least I think they are my friends, it's hard to tell sometimes.
You know how us religious types can be.

Finished.

I've graduated.

And now I'm staring over.
And this is the cool part about it all.

Honestly, I don't know what the future holds for those relationships which are wrapped up in that world, only time will tell. And that, in it's own time.

For now I embrace Life with everything I am and look forward to seeing the world with fresh eyes and an open heart.

In reference to what life is all about, a good friend of mine once said,

"To Live Life

Not Just Let It Happen

You've Only Got One For Sure

All Additional Lives Are Subject To Debate"

I can live with that.